I interviewed a guy about suicide today. Apparently it's become the single most likely cause of death for Australian men under the age of 44 and women under 34. On average, seven Australians kill themselves every day.
And countless more have attempted, or at least contemplated, doing the same.
Australia is a rich, vast, beautiful place to live. We complain about the state of education, healthcare, public transport and housing, but that's only because there's not much else to complain about. Compared to other countries, we appear to be doing OK.
And yet, we're killing ourselves. And not really talking about it.
Clinical depression is obviously part of it, and the silence isn't helping, but the numbers are so high... I can't help but think there's more to it than that.
Yes, it's tragic. As you say, we live in such an amazing country. It's sad that so many people really feel they have nothing to live for, and that it would be better not to live. I imagine most, or at least many, people who have committed suicide have loving friends and family who would do anything to make them happy. And yet it's not enough. Is this because their family isn't aware they need help? Or is it that no amount of support is enough? My feeling is that in many cases if the person really opened up to those close to them and share exactly how hard they were finding things and could identify the big issues, then something could be done to prevent it leading to suicide. But perhaps I'm wrong. And getting a depressed person to open up is far from easy.
ReplyDeleteSince we've been over here, an amazing number of people have told us they can't believe we chose to move away from Australia, and they would absolutely love to live there. The more I travel, the more I appreciate all the wonderful things about Australia.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, I don't think someone contemplating suicide is thinking about the bigger picture in that sense. And in the times I've felt depressed, I could logically say to myself - you live somewhere great, you have an awesome family, etc - why are you feeling this way?? And I didn't know the answer. It wasn't about where I lived or the people around me, it was about something happening in my brain. Oh, and I did try a psychologist, who told me to 'get over it'.
Anyway, I agree it needs to be talked about more. I like your first post!
We are a lucky country, but for many its also not so lucky....deep pain and displacement for Aboriginal ppl. There is a bigger gap between the have and have nots...the have nots may have more than in many a country but if you live amongst many who have lots, it can be a stark and perhaps humiliating distinction. I think there is an immense amount of pressure on ppl to perform and be somebody in our culture as well. I think we are an incredibly, ridiculously stressed culture. I love Australia, and I'd rather live here than anywhere else, but it's still full of people and we are all connected to a mad and stuffed up world. Different things make different ppl depressed, and you cant "just get over it" (Em, I'd like to strike your psychologist off the register)and I think there are usually lots more than one reason why someone might go so far as to kill themselves, probably a bunch of scenarios that build to make life unbearable. Its really frightening those statistics.
ReplyDeleteEmi this is something that frustrates me no end - that those who are supposed to be there to help don't understand and provide unhelpful (often hurtful) advice. Psychologists seem to range from brilliant to awful, and it seems rare among myself and my friends to find a good one. Often once people have one bad experience they're too scared to keep searching for a good one and just give up.
ReplyDeleteNice blog Emma. I'm glad you kickstarted it with something meaningful.
ReplyDeleteOk, now I'm just hijacking, but anyway...
ReplyDeleteI just watched Dr Phil (it was a once off, I swear!) and it was about teen suicide. They had a teenage guy who had attempted suicide, leaving him with multiple fractures, internal injuries, brain injury, and months of rehabilitation to recover. He's glad he survived, and was asked what anyone could have done. Sadly, he said his family was going all the right things - talking, getting him to see psychologists, he was on medication etc. But he said none of that could stop him. There was still a lot he didn't voice, and just kept to himself.
Anyway, so what some of the "experts" suggested is to encourage people to do journalling. People often won't open up fully to anyone else, but by writing it down it helps them to look at what they're feeling more objectively. It helps them to get out of their head and get some perspective, and separate themselves from their thoughts to some extent. I have no idea whether there is any evidence that this makes a difference, but it sounded good to me.
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ReplyDeleteI also wonder how Australia's stats compare with non-Western countries, particularly those where many are fighting to survive.
ReplyDeleteMeh! I just deleted my first comment to try and get rid of that silly picture of me. No luck. Anyway, it said:
ReplyDeleteIn response to Amy's first comment, I suspect most people leave behind loving family and friends who had little or no idea what was going on. But even when people do open up, family, friends, and counsellors can only do so much. (I'm talking here about cases where medication and/or a person's circumstances are not the issue.)
We can offer support, love and acceptance, and psychologists can offer coping mechanisms and new perspectives, but can anyone provide meaning, purpose and hope to someone who feels utterly hopeless?
Em, I'm so sorry to hear about your awful experience. I'm with Kate.